Chaithought: The vulnerability of writing

Why I can't share everything that I think or write about and the fear of telling the world something too personal

Writing — at least writing that truly resonates — is innately vulnerable. Relatable writing works because it connects with us on a level where we don’t usually meet ourselves. We all experience a wide range of emotions, but not everyone is able to recognize or express them clearly, either to others or even to themselves. That’s why we find comfort in another person’s words when they put those emotions out in the open. It feels like a warm hug from someone who understands us, who validates what we’re feeling, and who “gets” us — without us having to reveal our own innermost thoughts and demons.

I personally struggle with this vulnerability in writing. I often hold back, afraid that if I share something too personal, I’m exposing too much of myself. That hesitation, I feel, sometimes makes my writing come across as generic — or at least, it keeps it from touching deeper chords. And yet, when I read others’ work, what draws me in most is the writing that dares to go there. Not every piece needs to be profound, of course. But when I’m in that frame of mind, I love writing that lets me glimpse into someone’s world — how they think, how they relate to people, how they see themselves in their relationships. That kind of raw honesty excites me.

The truth is, I find it hard to bring that same honesty into my own work. But I want to try. So bear with me as I begin to unravel this knot.

Number one on my list is the fear of being judged. What if I overshare? Will I regret it later? Maybe I can delete it then. Oh no! But what if someone like me reads it? And remembers it forever and ever. Though if it really is someone like me, they'll never bring it up again because they'll be embarrassed on my behalf and never want to rub my face in it again. So that's a relief!

Next up, what if what I write doesn't make sense? What if the writing does not flow? What if it can't take you on a journey (even if it's just a short walk)? I know, too much pressure! And, no one else's putting it on me. I get all the awards for it myself. People have told me to write more often, and that it has to exist first for it to be perfect at some point. But my brain doesn't work that way. So how do I solve it? Again, I tell myself I'm harder on myself than anyone will ever be. For example, when I read someone else's writing, I don't judge them harshly. I read what they want to say. Leave a heart if it resonates or say nothing if it doesn't. But, at all times, I always appreciate their courage to write. So I guess I should take heart from this. This leads us to the next point: agreeing and not agreeing. Everyone has a unique perspective shaped by their own conditioning, education, the company they keep, and the life they've lived. That's all I can say — and probably as open-minded as I can try to be. So they don't necessarily need to agree with me. Alright then. Seems like we've solved all my issues. Yay us! Going forward, I’ll be attempting to infuse more of my thought processes, opinions, and truths into my writing — even if it means sitting with the discomfort of vulnerability.

Until next time.

Hope you enjoyed reading. I'm always looking for feedback!

For now, I'll leave you with this: Keep Reading!